The Crime of being Me

The greatest challenge of having made a wrong decision at one point of your life , is the reminder by those around you. Having done wrong in the past and then attempting to correct or rebuke someone else for their act, may become tantamount to declaring war.

So what are you supposed to do when you know that wrong acts are being perpetuated, by the former observers of your crime. The most honourable thing would be to speak out and take the backlash when it comes. For indeed the question is not if it will come.

It's a hard thing to live through to speak truth as a sinner is hard, to correct those we love is even harder. For those closest to us are also the ones who the most about us. To cry every night in the conflict of seeing the pain to come and refusing the pain that is. Is an experience that many live through in different areas of their lives.

Living with the shackles of history around you, Living with the pain of being, and the refusal of others to recognise the process of becoming is a painful journey. Those who have the most to defend are the least likely to speak out. be it the abuse of others through racism or bullying. The one who sees it may fear more for their own history and the backlash of any attempt to speak truth, a truth that I may not have acted out at another time in my life. So the silence enables the increase of evil, the abuse of the young, the sell of drugs, the bribing of the official and the against illegalities that lead to material success through corrupt means. All is enabled by you and me. For we fear speaking out and addressing the truth. The truth that is like thorns at a birthday party ready to make a mess of our lives and hurt many others including ourselves.

As I reflect on my experience in the trauma of the season of my darkness, I remember the moment that I did not stand up for others, the moments that I refused to live my comfort zone and address the abuse committed against another. So why would I expect better. Yes I didn't hurt them, yes I didn't lead them to the point of pain, but here i was asking for what I didn't give.

Is that not madness, am I so conceited that I think that I deserve what I will not give, the lady justice is blind to be fair. But is justice ever fair or is it just that. It is what it is, so what can anyone do to what is.

I believe that despite my failure and my fall from grace on multiple instances, I do not deserve better. I stand not to demand better for me, but for everyone. May failings do not justify the continued wrong, my fall does not condone harming another. When i receive goodness it reminds me that I too need not to live in the past and hold myself hostage. The most efficient jailor is ones conscience, the most brutal judge is once memory. Give yourself a break, you did wrong, you made wrong decisions, you suffered and you failed. But that does not justify anyone from using or abusing you.

My value is not in what I have or who I am with, being at work and gaining a high flying career is great but that is not who I am, being at the pits and looking at all that I lost is not who I am, as a believer I would like to encourage you to know that you can become a child of God and all you need is to accept His love that does not ask you to change, but once its in you will change you. The love that counts not your past wrong and enables you to mature with time so that you too do not count your past or the past of other. the love that emboldens you and says my past is past, and whatever I did does not justify your actions against me, the actions and abuse against other in my presence to day or in the future.

Today I take the time to celebrate my becoming that was founded on being, and what I was has helped me for the good of others and humbled me for the glory of God.

Celebrate the Crime of being You!!

2 Corinthians 5:17-19 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.