The source of our action

The source of our action 

The greatest gift any person may give another is themselves. To give off oneself requires sacrifice, it's more than the action of determination, it's more than the connivence of the moment it's the act of love that denies instant gratification for eternal significance through the joy of another. 

Some parents are seen expressing that love to their own, some children reciprocate with a love of commitment and passion. Yet for many the love of self becomes an idol they refuse to compromise outside their “own," many claim to be givers yet will with ease abuse a stranger, some will claim forgiveness for their own and hate to any “other”. 

Is it truly possible to be that split, to have such destructive and restorative power working in one and the same. I will say that for a while it may appear so. But inconsistency is consistent. In the end a cruel employer will be cruel in indirect ways to even their closest loves, this may be expressed through entitlement exceptions and manipulation. The loving partner who in all other  relationships considers time an investment will complain of the return. 

Our actions are motivated by our attitudes, beyond all circumstances how we relate with other is defined by attitude, philosophy and world values/view system. So the question is not how can other not give unto me but how much am I willing to ever give without expecting a return, once we have made peace with the principle of faith that we are grounded in we are able to relate to the world with awareness. Treating people with care is not based on how much I love myself but how much I believe love is worth to me. If I believe that love is an expensive entity I will not share it, if I believe that its a cheap and highly available resource that I too can attain at high volumes I will share. 

A child who is loved, will be more likely to love others even if they do not care for the, a child who is loved conditionally and has learnt that love must be negotiated or manipulated. Will love conditionally and demand love from those around as its a finite resource. A resource that cannot be share with other, so if they are in a relationship their partner cannot love their own family parent and siblings because the resource will be outspent from their world view. 

I recently met an individual who felt offended at all joyful interactions between her in-laws and her husband that did not include her. She would monitor the interactions and call out at a minutes notice to gain attention, based on internal insecurity. Another individual failed to relate with their boss because of personal dysfunctional of parental relationships while another desired to please and gain response at any cost. 

Our actions as psychologists assess stem from our brokenness as children and experiences as adults. Yet this is not the end of the story, while great influences have shaped us, we are able to respond once wee find the willingness to admit there is need and then we identify that part we have responsibility in and the part others have responsibility in. As a christian I believe that God’s grace is sufficient for me, I had a childhood with little unconditional love from my father, yet I have learned that I am worthy of love eternally without any limitations despite my sinfulness. Having reached an identity through the transformation of my mind — the change of world view and mindset has enabled me to forgive the things that offend and realise that sin is a thing done by a person who is broken, I may not need to be close to that brokenness at that moment but I can have peace in the midst of every circumstances.  

Some question I will be sharing in the future include. Who am I ? Whose am I?  These must be understood by every individual and once you know who you are you can share your true self with honesty and transparency. The fear of being a copy of something or trying to fit into a mould that we are not causes strain and frustration to self and others as we lash out. Why do i do what I do? and why do I do this? Is answered once we realise that we did not create ourselves and there is a bigger purpose in all things.  My faith has taken me through and I continue to rejoice in God’s assurance and grace, my actions thus have value beyond myself and I gain meaning out of life despite of brokenness and suffering. For all has a purpose in the scheme of life. 

Jesus loved each and every one of us, and sought to share the fathers love. Find your foundation of being and faith to have meaning and a healthy source of action. 
#motivational #peace #direction #hope #strength #future #identity #mentalhealth