My teacher - Suffering

Personal Book Study 

As I was sharing my testimony with a new friend online, I celebrated the removal of all boarders and limitations in communication, the new openness is not just for education, talking to friends or connections for business. The removal of limitations has meant an increase in structural support and guidance. When one is low or fearful and struggling through a journey the internet is a source of structure and aid from people across the world.   

In the book Crawling out of the Darkness, the author reflects on the story of an employee who sought greener pastures but ended up abused at her new place of occupation. The abuse ranged from verbal, physical, psychological and emotional, at the beginning the abuse was with subtlety and then followed with a gradual growth into more viciousness that climaxed into physical abuse and a repeated hint of potential sexual harm. In the narrative she shared the mistakes she made, the errors of indecision, the fear and panic that drove her to seek anything better without looking at the answer with clarity and logic.   In her rush she ended up in the arms of institutional monstrosity. She reflects of the different times in her life. Once she spoke with abrupt boldness, now learned a new level of humility and has grown to maturity. She learned the appreciation of the minor blessings of life, indeed she learned to value many of the things she once took for granted. The passion for financial gain, instant promotion and competitive edge, gave way to faith, family and service. 

The initiation of the journey of this migrant, her journey began a few months prior when she lost her mother and best friend. It’s striking that one can place a mark in time and identify when everything changes. She was called on to make hard decisions during a nation that struggled, many suffered as the national drama unfolded. Failure in leadership, increased suffering for many, pride and ego became more valuable than the lives of the common men. The continued hyper inflation pushed many into the blackmarket and illegal trade. Good people choosing to do bad things, and despite all attempts to whitewash the past, bad still remains and the stench is overwhelming. In the desire not to do wrong, it appeared as two choices were presented stay and die or leave and live, yet there was a third that she learned of with time, this was  seek God and wait on him in faith. 

Her desire for peace following death, regret, love for her family that increased her despair such a wave of suffering, yet not once during her initial journey did she address the tide that seems to flood into her life, despite being a believer and having seen the power of faith and positive confession at that moment she was willing to let things be for peace. 

Seeking total peace following disruption was impulsive, indeed not all peace and calm is healthy. Getting what you want at a time may be the worst thing in the world for you in the long run. As things fell apart she was reminded of the commonest of proverbs, the simplest of truths - never make quick decisions and big changes following a tragic experience. 

“I was running away so fast that I didn't take time to check what I was running towards. I was focussed on leaving what I knew that I never sought to learn what is was walking into. the journey that is scattered by mistakes, passion, anger, love and forgiveness I will share in the coming days”. Crawling out of the Darkness - Out of the Labyrinth into purpose and truth

Her suffering resulted in learning and purpose, while others have been uplifted, many given hope in the sharing of victory in defeat. In the midst of pain and hurt she found goodness and hope. The suffering was not in vain. In her journey she grow closer to God, emboldened in her fight against the giant of corporate structure. A machine so big, that her government was considered a tiny cog.  Yet here she is standing a victor. She may not have yet won the battle against the giant of company but she has won the war of her inner peace and assurance of purpose and future. She has risen now to help others encourage and speak on the issue of institutional accountability at all levels in all sectors while building up those who suffer, with the reminder that this too shall pass and the Journey is not just for or about you, but one day this journey will be used lift up many others in similar or worse situations. The book closes with her faith and joy in Good secure. As i shall spend some time encouraging myself and those who will read, I will be referring to the book that reflects the change in my life, that continues to impact me.