The Power of Influence

The Power of Influence  The most powerful influencer is he who can change the hear, behaviour must follow where the heart will lead.  Most people who deal with subordinates desire to make them change or align to certain behaviour. Parents and teachers may use bribes and discipline to ensure behavioural change. The focus on behavioural change to meet the approval of leaders or admission into the "group" is then ingrained into the child. What may not have changed in the child or individual is to agree on the principles that demand the change of behaviour. Human beings are fickle, a child will learn that early on that the capacity of being inconsistent is found in those who care for him/her. Because people are inconsistent they may also be manipulated for a set time. But how does that impact adults as they apply the lesson learned into maturity. When people became the judge and jury of our lives, we begin to make them idols and their rule over us will harm us, not because they desire to do so but because as people, they are imperfect. Paul shares this thoughts in Galatians 1vs10 I’m not trying to win the approval of people.’ As people we like to be liked, we like to be praised because we may have learned early on in life that failure to do the required has repercussions such as loss of approval. These lessons were good and important for as long as being approved was not a matter of identity. For many adults their daily crisis is based on the fact that what they do, has become them. In a season of change and uncertainty that the Corona Covid 19 pandemic represents to all of humanity, one must deal with such poor foundations. How does on remove the fear of pleasing people in such a time. The reason will be found in you if only you dare to confront yourself. Answer some key questions. why do i act the way i do? What will I loose if I stop acting the way I do? What is my greatest need? Does my need align with my fear?  The desire to please a a person or a group of people and value their satisfaction may demand a sacrifice beyond your capacities to provide. We see it in politics, where an agenda is pushed that will be terminal to the individual and their vision. Yet because of the desire to fit in and the insecurities that are abused by others. The individuals rides to the end of the cliff. Influence for those who have learned to manipulate it, can become a drug and also harm them in the long run. The power of influence can be seen in daily lives of the general public and the powerful influential people of the world. In politics influencers are called lobbyists. Lobbyists are there to push an agenda through numbers or numbers.

People-pleasing does two things: 1) It makes us neglect our own needs in order to meet other people’s. 2) It causes us to make decisions based on their approval. 3) It may leads us to harm other and ourselves for the sake approval. We can end up feeling like we’re being walked over. Maybe we became a people-pleaser early in life to get the attention we needed and couldn’t get any other way. Or maybe we never learned to trust our own judgment, and instead relied on other people to make the decisions for us. The Bible says, ‘Fearing people is a dangerous trap’ (Proverbs 29:25 NLT), because it always backfires. Not only do others get upset with us, we end up disappointed with ourselves when things don’t work out. What overcomes people pleasing? Principles, understanding what we believe  and why we believe is key. Once we have defined our principles and taken ownership of them. We must relate them to how we would respond to these principles if coming from another. For as you desire to be treated so do so unto others. So take the time to reflect on your identity?  Define your values ? Define your faith structure.. who is your god?  And address the areas you least feel comfortable with and those you dislike.  The aim is not jus to learn to like yourself, or doing things that you want over what will be good for others. the primary aim is to understand what brought you thus far. Why you have accepted that status quo,  Why the status quo is good or bad.  Own the decision and move forward having defined good principles. Human beings are social creatures, this pandemic has reminded us of this truth. We need however to be healthy in our relationships. Human beings are also frail and sinful, prone to do wrong regardless of the desire for and knowledge of what is right. The fact that people are prone to do wrong, reflects on us. I am also prone to do wrong, I require forgiveness and support to do right, so I too must forgive others and not take every action personally. Seek to change the heart may not result in instant change of actions or removal of desire but it's the first set and take the journey day by day. As a Christian myself my faith has helped me walk the journey to overcome pleasing people as a focus, to standing for godly principle that end up pleasing people and are healthy in my interactions. I hope that you may take your journey and overcome a potentially toxic culture, if followed for its own sake. be a principle defender not just a people pleaser. Have a blessed day and celebrate life its worth living Gamu